The Lonely Minion

This billboard caught my eye when coming back home one day from one of my walks.

#TheLonelyMillion by London 20s and 30s community | The Great Friendship Project

It’s a laudable initiative that, at the same time, can make you instantly sad. Yes, it is true, pervasive and unfortunately, still very stigmatised.

As the eponymous wise lady of Fleabag put it, ‘People are all we’ve got.’

Indeed, you need every kind of person in the world. There’s a lesson there, one a senior colleague taught me, to disabuse me of the notion that only a certain kind of person made it in life.

Now, I’m someone who, despite being painfully shy, loves the company of people. I was lucky to have the foundational security of a beloved extended family growing up and strongly believe, that in the course of our lifetime, we must surround ourselves with as many people as we can to learn different ways of thinking, get out of our heads more and hopefully pick up a new thing or two. 

And in that communal harmony, if we find someone who can bring us joy, peace and emotional safety, it’s the proverbial cherry on the cake.

It’ll never be all rosy though. I’ve had my fair share of quarrels and fallouts, some traumatising, others less so – but most making me realise (not in real-time) how necessary and inevitable they were. Which brings me back to the billboard, there’s a loneliness that comes from not being true to yourself.

So if you are someone who doesn’t like rocking the boat, may you find the strength to say no if your heart is not in it, and disappoint others rather than disappointing yourself. It’s not selfish behaviour, it’s self-preservation. Only then can you build a life free of resentment, grief or any sense of injustice.

And when you say yes, may it always be hell yes, especially for people, places and passions that matter most.